Insecurity is by far the most common spiritual disease in existence. It is ubiquitous in every social group from the most accomplished people to the lowliest people. Most strange social behavior can be attributed to this mental demon. Insecurity can be defined as a lack of self-worth. Insecure people do not feel valuable just the way they are. When it hurts too much to accept and work on your flaws this leads to insecurity. Much of the time we do not even realize that we insecure until we manifest an odd behavior. The human mind is so good at creating self-defense mechanisms that insecure behavior can go undetected for years. The following is a list of some ways insecurity can manifest in men.
1.) Arrogance: Boasting about one’s accomplishments is not what secure people do. Secure people let others praise them. The most secure people do not even need recognition. They are perfectly happy being unnoticed. They are so mentally grounded that they do not need the validation of others (this is demi-god status mental strength). Most people never make it to that level.
2.) Blowing up a person’s phone with text messages: Constantly contacting a potential romantic interest is a sign of insecurity. Men should be able to be content in their own little bubble. Any other person should be a welcome addition. Making someone else the center of your world is a sign that you are not grounded in your own identity. Constantly having to be in correspondence with a girl shows that you have an issue being alone. I was definitely guilty of this one when I was younger.
3.) White lies: We lie to ourselves when the reality is too painful to confront. When we lie in order to make ourselves look better, it shows that we are not accepting of our limitations. Everyone including myself has issues that they would like to fix. Lying to people in order to make yourself look better is not going to fix your issues.
4.) Not admitting when you are wrong: An insecure person will not be able to admit when they are wrong about something. A fragile ego can be devastated by admitting that it is wrong about something.
5.) Holding on to a person that mistreated you: THIS IS A SUPER COMMON MANIFESTATION OF INSECURITY. It has taken me a loooong time to begin to conquer this manifestation of insecurity. Some months are better than others. If we can’t let go of an unhealthy relationship it shows that we don’t value ourselves as much as we think we do.
6.) Pursuing a person that doesn’t want to be with you: NEVER EVER PURSUE SOMEONE THAT DOES NOT SHOW AN EQUAL AMOUNT OF INTEREST. Why would you want to be with someone who does not see value in you? “We all want what we can’t get” is a true statement. It is a true statement because we are all deeply insecure. We are unsure of our value so we assume that acquiring that other thing will validate our existence. We must all get to a place where we know that we are a “catch”. Deep in our soul, we know that we have a lot to offer and anyone would be lucky to have us. You will no longer pursue people who don’t want to be caught. You will feel sorry for them because they are truly missing out on something good. One can not fake it. You must actually do the work to become a catch.
These are only a few of the ways that insecurity can manifest. One could fill an encyclopedia with examples of ways that we manifest insecurity. Our goal should be to rid ourselves of this plague. The only way to do this is intensive introspection and self-improvement. The introspection is to identify the things we are insecure about. Self-improvement is to fix these issues that we have identified. This is a horrifying process. It takes a lot of work. The journey is difficult but it is the most rewarding journey a person can take. It is well worth it. Only when we love and accept ourselves can we truly love and accept others. Good luck! You can do it.